Tuesday, August 30, 2005

trying to save up for the SCHOOL'S prom..i hOpe i'm able to return the money to my sis at the end of dis yr =)


saw ragasegar & dinesh dis noon at je inter.. they v wad lor hahahax.. their prelims end todae.. whilst mine only started afew pathetic days ago..loL~ den they so 'yaya' lidat =P n raja said smth which i duno whether i shd luff or feel sAd hahaha! he actually suan-ed me!!! quite funny lar~ jess was standing beside me n shes LOL-ing -_-" but its nice to see them~ i hope they've done well 4 their prelims! ^^


mathsC paper wasnt tt tough but mayb not so much time.. nwae i noe i wun do well for it.. quite upset. waited for xiuqing at je inter 2 go home w her.. den kareen called n said she'll meet me earlier tml to get sooeng's present, im fine w it =)


got 2days break.. friday will b chem's paper1.. more or less studied finished le.. but shall revise agn, cus i'd haf most probably 4gotten most of them..


sumhow.. i tink i really admire weilian. i hope some of the ppl will b more fair 2 him..


i dun really feel like blOgging animore.. not cus i've lost interest.. i'm not sure too..
i'm growing more melancholy these days.. i've yet to finish studying =( yet there r still so many things tt r bothering me at the same time.. if only there is more understanding.. its unfair 2 me. some of the things, i din mention it last time cus i dun wan to create unhappiness.. its not only once. jus so IRRITATED.

thanx darling!! ^^ really a nice surprise! so sweet of u~ yep, thanx 4 ur effort 4 trying to make me feel good in the midst of my preparations 4 exams.. thanx for coming over last nite to deliver the chicken essence & tt cute lil' dancing frame w ur stupid face inside, even though u r tirEd.. i noe u r still tirEd though u said u r not really so.. yay!! thanx thanx thanx!


n thanx 2 everyone 4 encouraging me n giving me assurance =)


1 more wk to prelims.. i hope i can do well~~ i hope 4 everyone too! =)

hmm.. hasnt blogged 4 sometime le.. was feeling v stressed the past few days, simply moodless 2 go online blahx, let alone blogging.. i cldnt manage recent fm chapters.. the wadever vectorspace, linear transformation all tt, i duno anything lor.. i even cried when i was reading the lect notes lar!! hahaha, really too stressed le lar.. but well, guess i'd better not touch tt 1st.. will stress me up more.. now quite ok alr lar, jus try my best lor~ yea, and thanx 2 yijun tt day for the sms-es, really make me feel much much better and less stressed =)


yest was late for sch.. but it wasnt my fault. about 200+ other students were late along w me~ hahahax, saw xiaoling also.. n also yijun + toonpang hahahax.. not bad lar, so mani ppl late w me =) its all cus of bus 97.. it din come even after 20mins.. after tt got 1 97 came but its a single-decked and din stop at my busstop.. mani mani mani students all same state as me lo~ hahaz.. but hai hao lar, principal is nice, she noes about the bus late arrival thingy, so release us (who are affected by the bus thingy).. those w no integrity also leave tgt w us lo.. fabian was late also lar, but his wasnt becus of 97 thingy.. so he has integrity!! he stayed there tgt w the rest of some other ppl who r late for other reasons.. hmm.. wad a 'good' morning 2 start off yest lo.. hahahax..


blah.. 2dae got back our progress report.. not tt bad.. mr lim's comments was tt he said i'm capable of getting straight As for my 4 content subs at 'A' lvls.. the only thingy is my GP.. haiiz.. i duno lo, really v scared about failing GP.. jess's sort of helping me w GP now bah.. not really say alot of help... but at least, she kind of asked me to work hard tgt w her lor.. like.. go for GP consultations w her, do essays on our own n let mr lim edit all tt.. self-practise tt means.. n also got share some information all tt.. so not tt bad lar.. i hope this little effort will help us improve our GP tgt.. haiiz.. really lor.. so wad if u get so good for all content subs when u fail GP? u'll get NOWHERE =( *prays hard for gd results in GP for prelims & 'A' lvls!*


hahaz.. recently huiyu is crazy over junyang loL~ she saw him THRICE dis month le hahahaz.. n she gets HIGH over him =) yest he came to our sch, i also duno 4 wad.. n huiyu got his autograph on her hp hahahaz.. plus got wished him happy bdae, n take alot of photos.. all v close up n direct de.. hahax cus tt time still wasnt too much ppl surrounding him i guess.. i din stay back nwae, not v interested.. hahax, but glad yuyu is happy lar~~
also saw huiyu on the tv yest when watching Superstar.. loL~ quite alot of times actually.. yeah, shall watch the girls 2nite! =)


k lar, i go type out my GP essay now le.. cya ppl~ mux go out tgt 1 day!! DEFINITELY! meanwhile, jiayou 4 those w projects or prelims also~~ yay! ^^

really hafta b thankful.. darling's alright already~ its jus a normal fever, though quite a high one la.. was suspected malaria at 1st, but the blood test results turned out 2 b negative.. yeap, so hes well now le~~ jus nw went his hse visit him after sch.. sianx diao lor.. i tot is 2+pm dismissed, end up is 4+pm lor cus i forgot theres fm makeup lecture~~ bought some apples n did some 'creative packaging' on 1 of the apple at je mac~ yuyu was w me cus she wanted 2 get her sausage =) hahaz.. took mrt 2 jp n went 2 darling's house le~~ yay!!!! DAMN HAPPY!!! i guess i've made him happy too.. i noe the effort's all worthwhile when i saw his expression.. heEx~~ =) stayed till ard 7+pm b4 i leave.. really v v v v v v v v v (x infinity) dun wish to.. but no choice lar, cant reach home too late.. not ideal too~
nonetheless, i cant deny tt i jus enjoy being w him~~ yes, simply spending time tgt.. even when we din do anything special.. the feeling of jus having him ard is enough =)


gotta thank junjun & yuyu.. otherwise, i really wld haf chAnged my mind n headed home le =)


bleah~ hAfen study abit 2dae.. blahx. am tirEd to do so too.. yest 2am den slp mahz.. tts y.. but still, i mux say its worth it hahahax~

guess i'll try n go study now le~~ byebye!! n jiayou 2 those having exams soOn!!! ^^

darling is so nice 2 me~ really duno how 2 turn him down at times lo.. hahax~ cus i'll b so guilty n feel i'm a tyrant if i do tt.. aiyo~~ dearest darling, stop treating me so nice!!! loL~ tink i'm loving him more & more le~ loL~ ok dis sounds mushy =x


school was quite fun 2dae~~ the few of us went crazy.. ka-jiao-ing each other in classroom n luffed REAL LOUD~ hahahax~~ fun! ^^

stayed back after sch w jess to let mr lim look thru' our gp scripts we've written ourselves =) he said i can pass, but jess's script will fail.. so shall examine jess's topic tgt sumtime~ its a gd experience at least~ =) got motivation! ^^


jess wana eat kfc after tt.. so i pei her lor.. if not she alone v ke lian mah.. but i nv eat cus past few days kp eating fast food.. BUT BUT BUT!!! when i saw the chicken & the shrooms again, MY URGE IS BACK! loL~ but i still nv go buy la, save $$$ more imprt now!!!

hahaha.. but i'm still gg 2 eat my kfc variety value meal one day.. SOON~ =P

singapore's 40th bdae! yes~
yest mOrning went 2 meet up w darling for brunch b4 i went 2 sch 2 assemble w the rest.. realised hes really suffered quite alot in brunei.. n how can my cough & sorethroat b compared to the 4-5 stitches on his head.. feel the heartache 4 him.. n the blood vessels in his eyes are quite obvious, guess hes really lacking of toOooo much slp~ yet he still wana meet me for brunch.. hEard how his life in brunei was.. wOo.. terrible~~ but luckily, tt's the last outfield trip 4 him le.. no more jungle survival thingy or wadsoever.. n 1 gd thing is, all of them passed the brunei thingy la.. hahax~ *thuMbs up*


oh ya, den he acc-ed me 2 sch lor.. took some pics on the bus =) but i sent him off 2 harborfront mrt 1st b4 i went back 2 sch.. was alil' late though hahax~~
on the way to marina, the few of us took pics on the bus again~~ hahahax, w sisi phyllis jiayi yijun & huiyu! yay! had so much fun taking pics~~ loL!!
reach marina at abt 1.30pm.. settled down & did afew rehearsals for the mass signing thingy.. tink its really kind of cool 2 b involved in the guiness world records thingy hahahx~ hope they can make it nwae!! ya. then took pics over thEre also~ hahahx~ got our funpack, not much things inside la.. hahax~~ den the parade started lor.. we wEre quite hIgh you mei you.. started waving the flags orderly.. n w tt kind of 'jerk' hahax~~ quite nice lar~~ den we're standing on the bench, feel so on top of the world lidat.. hahax~ den sang the songs quite loudly.. did the 'reach out for the skies' dance n blahx~ wOooo!!! fun fun fun** took pics of the planes & helicopters.. but i missed the part whereby the planes criss-crossed lo~~ n the WORST thing is the digicam batt ran LOW b4 i can even take the video of the fireworks!!!!!! *arGh!* hahaz.. so i manage to video-taped the 1st portion of the fireworks only.. the 2nd portion is w huiyu.. n shes sending me thru' msn now =) hahahx~ nice nice nice!!^^ n the gd thing is tt, padang has got their own fireworks, n marian has its own too!!! so its like, i can see both fireworks lighting up the sky lo, since padang n marina is so near 2 each other! yay!!! hahax~~
the departure was terrible i tell u.. DAMN CROWDED!! yuyu din leave w us cus she n elsie went 2 catch SUPERSTARS~~ esp junyang~ loL! me n junjun walked super fast lor, wana reach marina mrt asap mah.. BUT~~~ when we reached le right, its STILL so crowded!!! enter the station also cannot enter lo! so mani ppl waiting outside JUST TO STEP inside the station.. n its like.. 1 train comes at intervals of 6mins -_-" its like.. walao, how long do we hafta wait lor.. hahax so me n junjun decided to take cab lar~~ alot of ppl r waiting actually.. n its not easy to hail a cab cus almost all the cabs tt passed by are hired.. but my GD eyesight caught a cab~!!! its NOT hired!! so i faster flag you mei you~~ N YESH!!!! WE GOT ONTO THE CAB~~ HAHAHAX~ feel quite lucky yay!! so hai hao lor.. reached home not v late la, 9+pm.. yawnx~~
nice celebration! ^^


2dae is the 10th!! yIpEe~~ love him more than any!! =) muacks*

over the prom nite. so much unhappiness.. all the unpleasant stuff.. blahx.


i cant deny its mainly my fault for being so indecisive.. but i really dun mean it.. i really haf no intention of making u getting so upset n cry so oftenly over it.. i really really jus wan u 2 b happy, tts y i'd initially encouraged u 2 join s11.. i noe its cus of me tt caught u in a dilemna twice. i really hafta admit, it really my fault.. i din spare a thought of how u'll feel at tt moment when vic they all were all so encouraging n kp urging me 2 go.. i noe i've hurt u lotsa.. i really can feel it.. everytime i see u cry, i'll put myself in ur shoes n feel the hurt u r feeling.. n cry jus like how u did.. yes, i really understand the kind of being 'left out' de feeling.. its not as if i've nv had tt kind of feeling b4.. but its cus of me tt makes u develop tt feeling in u.. i haf no reason 2 b angry w u 4 not talking 2 me these days cus i'm the one whos done u wrong.. n i'm truly guilty.. i really feel v bad.. very very. but all these still cant heal the wound i've inflicted on ur heart..


dun wish 2 let dis affect our frenship.. i really dun wish 2.. guess i've learnt to understand the importance of solving a problem fast n not let it drag.. cus the more u drag, the more problematic the problem will b..


after phy tut yesterday, i went home alone. on the bus, i tot over all these things again. yes, i cried again.. cus i'm so sorry.. i've really hurt u deeply... i tot of ur nose tts gone all red n ur teary eyes.. so decided to wait for u near ur hse n trash it out.. as in, its better to talk things out rather than blah.. ya u get the idea. msged ht n asked if shes stillw jess, den ya.. they went 2 get some stuff.. den ok lor, i go mac n do my work 1st lor.. ltr when ht n jess break off le, den ht will msg me n i'll go 2 the busstop wait for jess..
sat from 3+ to 5+pm b4 ht finally msged me.. kk pack up my stuff n go busstop wait 4 jess le.. tt waiting time was horrible... i really feel erm.. how 2 say.. like my heart really thumping quite hard.. duno la.. i'm jus afraid she'll b angry n walk off, or jus shut me up or wadever.. i duno la, jus imagining all kinds of situtations.. blah.. waited for abt 5mins den she came liao.. guess she din saw me or smth cus her bus was behind another 143 at the busstop.. so ran up 2 her n called her la.. initially she said she wana go home le.. but well.. i said smth n she said 'ok lo, lets go to the mac'.. blah.. den talk things out at the mac.. she cried instantly.. i also cried after tt.. she certainly said things tt touched me n make me feel more guilty.. hundreds, thousands times more guilty. afterall, we've alwis been hanging out 2gether thruout our life in jc.. she said "'its so sad jus 2 tink tt i cant graduate tgt w u, tts y i kp encouraging u 2 go 4 the prom nite. but ur tone was so persistent tt morning.. yet when vic they all persuaded u 2 go, u say u'll reconsider.. like.. my words of encouragement cant be compared to vic they all's.." wad else can i say.. i duno.. i really duno watta say, cus wadever i say will definitely end up to the conclusion tt i'm still the one at fault.. i really cant say anything 2 defend myself.. i'm a selfish person. talk abt alot more things after tt.. den also got some time when we 2 r v quiet.. hmm.. but still feel better after talking it out..
diverted topic after tt.. cus theres no pt discussing abt the prob nmore.. theres no solution.. everything's been confirmed.. n shes given her word 2 shanshan all tt also..we really cant haf any solution.. except tt we put s11 and s12 table tgt on prom nite. talk about smth else after tt lo.. den started luffing again =) saw a mum n her 2daughters who came in2 mac n they sat beside us.. the 2 girls quite cute la.. hahahax, played awhile w them all tt.. heEx~ ya den feel better le lor.. ate dinner tgt n went home.. hahhax, i can only say jess's obsessed w the mac happy meals.. cus she luvs the toys -_-" i even helped her to finish 1 set of happy meal jus cus she wanted the toy.. hahax, but tts an advantage to me =P


jus hope all these unhappy things will come 2 an end.. on the way home, sc called me n we chatted thru'out my bus journey.. reach home liao, watch tv, den yuyu called me -_-" den like.. wah, so tiring lor.. talked so much de feeling.. den i'm alone at home also.. like.. hahahax.. reach home v sianx jiu dui le.. n i dun dare to bathe too =x waited for mum to come home b4 i went to bathe.. yawnx.. dozed off in my living room.. woke up later to sleep in my room.. bleah, but i 4got smth.. hahahx =x

2dae got the schedule for prelims le.. blah.. its quite a long period lor.. dun like it.. cus its like.. we started b4 the sept holidays.. den after holidays, continue again.. mayb 1 advantage is got more time 2 study.. but some papers hor, paper1 and 2 also split until 1 is before n the other is after the holiday lor -_-" like hafta study twice.. n like, cannot fully njoy the holiday also =( hAiix.


i feel exhausted.


last nite was horrible. family was devastated.. whole family was almost gone.. i mean, gone crazy.. sis & i were crying n crying.. mum broke down.. daddy tried to comfort mummy.. bro.. dun tok abt him. until about 1+am den went 2 slp.. went 2 sch todae.. dun really feel tt gd, but i tried to smile =)
cried when i told jess n junjun abt wad happened.. but i feel better after tt..


about prom nite. 2dae i told them i wun b gg. actually i do feel like gg.. but i dun dare to ask mummy abt tt.. cus its exp~ feel sad.. but not tt sad also.. as in, hahax.. nvm.


5more days 2 darling's return =)

2dae was quite a hAppy day.. hahahax nth much happened la, but jus feel i luffed quite alot =) n the ppl ard me too.. hEex~


dis morning, bus 97 came late so the bus was quite crowded.. jess had earlier on asked me to meet her & board the same bus w her cus shes afraid she'll overslept agn ( tt time she overslept n landed at telok blangah LOL!).. i duno if we r on the same bus cus the bus was really v crowded so i smsed her, hoping the vibration will wake her up no matter where shes at then.. hEex~ den i saw simin when i was inside the crowded bus~ i'm v v v excited!!!! actually i've seen her quite afew times thru'out the years in JC.. usually will see her waiting for her bus at the busstop when i go sch later.. yep, den i feel like.. its so near yet so far.. i DEFINITELY miss her alot.. honestly, shes 1 of the MOST trusted frens i've have.. i can talk freely/openly w her abt anything.. yep, really anything.. no awkwardness even when we haf nth to say.. jus feel shes a v dear fren 2 me =) kk.. den later saw jEss when i moved to the inner deck of the bus.. shes hAppily chatting w xl, hahax ok so i no need worry she'll overslp le..


oh.. then lessons as usual lor.. hahax den i duno y during fmaths lect hor.. i said smth which i dun find it funny at all.. end up huiting mei & yuyu luffed like duno wad -_-" crazy alr lor.. i only said 'huiyu got bones & gas ok..' hahahax.. huiting mei was saying smth b4 tt.. den duno y la, after i've said tt, they 2 end up 'HAHAHAHA-ing'.. *ermx -_-"* oh ya.. recent fm chapters v tedious ne.. kinda hard 2 understand.. hahahaz.. die die die.. shall buck up on it during the sept holidays.. hmm or is it 2 late 2 buck up by then le? hahax duno la, shall c how 1st =) like wad junjun said, this kind of thing slowly will understand de, so no need 2 worry.. definitely will haf a way! =) yay!


oh ya, junjun told me sumtime ago tt the class chalet has been cancelled.. n todae she told me the rest had alr decided to organise an outing.. not a class outing nwae.. might as well.. i din feel like organising 4 the sake or organising too.. dun feel attached 2 the class.. dun really care tt mr lim feels welfare rep din do anything.. nwae i admit me & jess really din do anything much.. but so wad? i din wan to go against my will 2 organise a 'class' outing when i dun feel like it, or when i feel i'm being forced 2 do so.. n the inverted commas are there cus its as though its a class outing.. yes, a class may go out tgt.. but whether we haf fun or not is another thingy & whether we mix ard w the others (besides w our own clique) is another thing.. hey, jus come n join me for 1 day in sch n u'll start 2 wonder if we r really a class.. gd lor, now tt they've decided everything w/o information.. jus let them go ahead.. i wun b gg nwae.. i noe dis wun make a difference to them too.. n i believe i wun regret not gg~ i noe jess shared the same sentiments as me too.. sumtimes i really feel my thinkings are alike to jess.. in terms of mani things.. well, perhaps tts y we r a clique.. we can jus simply click w each other in so mani areas =)


still miss the 1st 3 mths s11 class.. the BESTest class i've ever had.. well, but i guess its gd tt we r in same class for jus 3mths too.. cus i believe, as ppl get to hang out n interact w each other more, we'll jus get to see the other ugly side of ppl.. i'd rather let those fond memories b edged in my mind forever.. yes, the sweet nice memories w my 1st 3mths class~ they r a bunch of nice pals indeed~ guess its not easy, for almost everyone (not differentiating guys and girls) can get along w 1 another so well.. i'll definitely rem them 4 life~ luv them lots~ n i definitely miss them too =)


oh ya, 2dae shanshan gaf me smth.. its a crystal she grew on her own.. hahahax she pro le lar.. duno how she grew into tt 'P' letter.. hahax.. guess she really learnt alot from her crystal-growing program since last yr =) glad 4 her! really LOVE tt lil' gift alot alot~


n jess also gaf me a cd tt shes burnt 4 me.. hahax v out of sudden lor.. i asked her y she burnt 4 me, n she said cus she finds tt i everyday also listen 2 the same old disc tt shes burnt 4 me last time, so she decided 2 burn another 1 for me =) really nice of her~ n i'm now listening to the new disc =) actually, its not tt i only haf tt 1 n only discs la.. i haf other discs too, jus tt i'm lazy to change the cds hahax~


yay~ theres no more extra chem make-up on mondays le.. cus last time we had dis makeup lessons due to lack of tutorials period.. but now, since we haf no more SPA le n since the other class has no more ME lessons le.. guess the extra makeup is not tt necessary.. cus the practical periods can b used for tutorials alr =) yep so dismissed earlier 2dae~ n 1 thing i'm happy abt is cus i 4got to bring my chem tut 2dae.. hahax so no chem tut also gd lar =P jess waited for me at JE mac (cus she pon maths lect n left earlier) 4 me to go imm tgt.. she treating me to shilin chicken heEx~ oh, yuyu joined us last min too.. hahax.. n jess treated me eat goreng pisang too~~ IMM goreng pisang is really V V V NICE!!! *yumyum*strong recommended* hahax.. aiya actually not really treat lar, cus tml it'll b my turn to treat her back.. hahaz~~ though its still eating our own money at the end of the day, but i guess the feeling is jus different when u treat ur fren 2 smth nice n later tt fren treats u back =) hahax.. its better than u use ur money n buy the food urself, isnt it? hEex~~ well but nwae, frens dun tok about money lar!! hahax ok.. so tml i shall not treat jeSs alr loL~ =x jus kidding.. hEex~


oh ya, about the prom nite.. i feel like gg, but i still wana ask mummy.. $63 is quite alot.. at the Grand Corpton Waterfront hotel i tink.. its the same hotel tt darling has asked me 2 go for his army thingy too =)
oh yea, n about the blood donation drive thingy.. last yr mummy din let me donate.. dis yr i'm 18 le, technically i dun need parental consent to go 4 the donation thingy.. but i wana let mummy noe also.. if she really dun allow, i dun wan to disobey her and upset her too.. afterall, shes jus worried 4 my safety i guess =)


did i type a long entry alr? hahahx guess dis is longer than usual, but not tt long also.. k lar, i go off le lar~ byebye!! ^^